Conclusion
What is Society?
In simple terms society is a group of people living together and following certain customs and laws, therefore a cultural, economical system is created. The customs are man-made, while the laws are either God’s imposed laws or man-made laws.
God’s laws always direct man towards being noble, doing good deeds and decent behaviors,
In the Middle Eastern Countries, Shari'a and civil laws are followed.
Islam enforced social and behavioral laws. EX: marriage, inheritance and trade, while civil laws cover all aspects of life for societies that don’t implement Islamic Shariaa.
In my opinion, people are products of their societies and environment, therefore the Middle Eastern men psyche is a direct result of him being part of the Middle Eastern societies. Any special characteristic or flaws in his personality are attributed to his upbringing and society imprint.
Women play an important role in shaping and molding the young males into the final product, A mother enhances certain behaviors and customs while raising up their sons.
In my own opinion, in order for a change to happen then the women of the Middle East should change the way they bring up their children, the way they treat their husbands, and their overall attitude.
It is the women who raise the boys to become the men they are, Mothers are an important factor in molding the personalities of their off springs. They have to stop being hypocrites and address issues that influence the well being of their kids, if the women of the Middle East start to analyze their behaviors and correct the biased approach while raising up boys differently than girls, of favoring the boys, of accepting certain behaviors from the male while denouncing them strongly from the female, when mothers implement righteousness and denounce hypocrisy then this will become the first step in producing a more balanced society.
I also believe that the financial independence of the women gives the women better choices and self assurance and enforces their respect and strengthens their roles in the family unit. An educated independent mother has better abilities understanding and dealing with issues that cause flaws in their children psyches.
On a final note, Education is the most major factor in shaping up new societies, in eradicating old customs and unjustified behaviors.
While doing my research, the most common complaint I heard from women, from different age group, education, and experience was (MALE CONTROL), Whether these women are in their late 70s or early 20s, their stories were similar one way or another. A Middle Eastern man is the sole pharaoh in the family, his orders are obeyed and his commands are un-discussable, some are more extreme than others, when women are working and contributing to the household income, the situation improves slightly but still in the Middle East the man rules unchallenged.
The issue of Male Control reflects an important part of the Middle Eastern men psyche;
The Middle Eastern male need of total and complete control over members of his immediate family as well as obtaining their obedience and forbidding any discussion on any given issue, is attributed to upbringing, social expectation, image and male ego.
This attitude results in creating a gap between the head male and the rest of the family unit; their lack of freedom and their inability to decide, or discuss any aspect of their lives whether social, educational or financial leads to feeling of oppression and resentment, which in return affect the well being of the whole family.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Middle Eatern men and accepting support
Middle Eastern Men and accepting support
For a Middle Eastern male asking for emotional support is a sign of weakness, and it affects his image.
Support is accepted but not asked for, in certain extreme cases, like a death in the family, severe illness or nasty divorce.
The support networks used in the west are unacceptable in the Middle Eastern culture; support network comes from immediate members of family (father, mother, brothers, and uncles) and very close friends.
A Middle Eastern male is expected to show strength, and to handle life issues without showing any hint of weakness. If he happens to need family support, it is available briefly; he is expected to recover quickly and to resume the strong image he should convey to people around him.
For a Middle Eastern male asking for emotional support is a sign of weakness, and it affects his image.
Support is accepted but not asked for, in certain extreme cases, like a death in the family, severe illness or nasty divorce.
The support networks used in the west are unacceptable in the Middle Eastern culture; support network comes from immediate members of family (father, mother, brothers, and uncles) and very close friends.
A Middle Eastern male is expected to show strength, and to handle life issues without showing any hint of weakness. If he happens to need family support, it is available briefly; he is expected to recover quickly and to resume the strong image he should convey to people around him.
Growing old
Growing old
As the Middle Eastern male grows older, and starts to lose control, when he retires and delegate power to the next in line, his approaches and treatment to his female partner become one of possession and complete reliance. She is the only manifestation of power left and he is not relinquishing that.
The male becomes the new baby in the household; he wants to be pampered, he throws tantrums, and he expects everyone to be there to answer his whims, in his mind he earned it and he deserves all the obedience and good treatment due to his many sacrifices and long working hours as the provider.
As the old saying goes, everything gets exaggerated when one grows old,
This means that all the male superiority ideas pounded in the Middle Eastern male while young, gets amplified with old age.
Note: in my personal opinion all male shares the feeling of superiority over their female counterpart, but in civilized societies male behavior got masked and laws are written to protect the women as well as to prohibits improper behaviors and domestic violence, as well as improper behaviors and remarks in the work place, although female wages and promotions are still considered below those of the male.
As the Middle Eastern male grows older, and starts to lose control, when he retires and delegate power to the next in line, his approaches and treatment to his female partner become one of possession and complete reliance. She is the only manifestation of power left and he is not relinquishing that.
The male becomes the new baby in the household; he wants to be pampered, he throws tantrums, and he expects everyone to be there to answer his whims, in his mind he earned it and he deserves all the obedience and good treatment due to his many sacrifices and long working hours as the provider.
As the old saying goes, everything gets exaggerated when one grows old,
This means that all the male superiority ideas pounded in the Middle Eastern male while young, gets amplified with old age.
Note: in my personal opinion all male shares the feeling of superiority over their female counterpart, but in civilized societies male behavior got masked and laws are written to protect the women as well as to prohibits improper behaviors and domestic violence, as well as improper behaviors and remarks in the work place, although female wages and promotions are still considered below those of the male.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Women Success
Women success
It is sad to watch the Middle Eastern men being threatened by his wife, sister or even business partner success, to see to what extremes he goes to put her down, to stop her success and to demise her. This behavior is the result of the male upbringing and the society expectation of him being the sole and main provider for the family.
When a woman becomes successful in her career, it might reflect badly on her male partner, form one point of view it might put him in an inferior position as the sole provider, or it reflects his fear of not being the sole controller of family matters, whether social or financial.
The female success threaten male ego, position and image in the society especially if they were both working in the same field or if the female job was superior to her partner, in this case the Middle Eastern Male uses all his power to put her down and push her in the shadow. A female success is only tolerated where it does not reflect badly on her partner or it does not minimize his career and if it is related to few field of work.
A woman success reflects her abilities, her intelligence, her power and her independence. Which in turn reflect that she is no longer inferior to the male, whether that male is a partner or a colleague. This causes a threat to the male ego and status. When threatened the male uses all his destructive weapons and means to relocate the female to its proper place according to his beliefs.
In a recent BBC Documentary about Syrian School, one male stated:
Why should we care about her education, whether she becomes a doctor or a lawyer she will end up in the working in the kitchen!!!
This reflects the masses attitude towards women’s success. The lack of respect of women achievements and the low expectancy out of the women population, even though in many cases women surpasses their male partners in knowledge, achievements and social behavior.
It is sad to watch the Middle Eastern men being threatened by his wife, sister or even business partner success, to see to what extremes he goes to put her down, to stop her success and to demise her. This behavior is the result of the male upbringing and the society expectation of him being the sole and main provider for the family.
When a woman becomes successful in her career, it might reflect badly on her male partner, form one point of view it might put him in an inferior position as the sole provider, or it reflects his fear of not being the sole controller of family matters, whether social or financial.
The female success threaten male ego, position and image in the society especially if they were both working in the same field or if the female job was superior to her partner, in this case the Middle Eastern Male uses all his power to put her down and push her in the shadow. A female success is only tolerated where it does not reflect badly on her partner or it does not minimize his career and if it is related to few field of work.
A woman success reflects her abilities, her intelligence, her power and her independence. Which in turn reflect that she is no longer inferior to the male, whether that male is a partner or a colleague. This causes a threat to the male ego and status. When threatened the male uses all his destructive weapons and means to relocate the female to its proper place according to his beliefs.
In a recent BBC Documentary about Syrian School, one male stated:
Why should we care about her education, whether she becomes a doctor or a lawyer she will end up in the working in the kitchen!!!
This reflects the masses attitude towards women’s success. The lack of respect of women achievements and the low expectancy out of the women population, even though in many cases women surpasses their male partners in knowledge, achievements and social behavior.
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